Ask a Career Advisor: How Do I Ask My Employer for Eldercare Benefits?

Balancing a career while caring for aging parents or relatives isn’t easy. If you’re part of the sandwich generation – caught between raising your own children and supporting elderly family members – you know the daily juggling act all too well.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 38.2 million people provided unpaid eldercare between 2023 and 2024. The emotional and financial burden can feel overwhelming, particularly when your workplace lacks the support you require.

But here’s the good news: More companies are recognizing the value of caregiver support. From flexible schedules to paid leave, family caregiver benefits are becoming more common.

The challenge? Knowing how to ask for benefits at work without jeopardizing your career.

We sat down with Lori Cole, Certified Career Coach and Advisor at iHire, to learn how working caregivers can confidently request eldercare support from their employers.

Why Is Caregiver Support Important in the Workplace?

First off, why should your employer care about your eldercare responsibilities?

“Caregiver support isn’t just good for employees – it’s good for business,” said Cole. “When companies provide eldercare benefits, they see reduced turnover, higher productivity, and improved employee morale. Caregivers who feel supported at work are more engaged and less likely to leave their jobs.”

Replacing an employee can cost businesses 50% to 200% of their annual salary, making retention through eldercare benefits a smart investment.

“If you’re hesitant to bring up your caregiving needs, remember that you’re not asking for special treatment,” Cole added. “You’re advocating for workplace policies that benefit everyone, including your employer.”

How Do I Research Existing Company Policies?

“Before you schedule a meeting with your manager or HR representative, do your homework. Understanding what your company already offers can help you make a more informed request,” Cole said.

Here’s what to look for:

Check Your Employee Handbook

Your company’s employee handbook or intranet should outline existing benefits. Look for policies related to flexible work arrangements, paid time off, employee assistance programs (EAPs), or family leave.

Review the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)

If your employer has 50 or more employees, you may be eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under FMLA to care for a family member with a serious health condition. While unpaid leave isn’t ideal, knowing your rights is a good starting point.

Talk to HR or Your Benefits Administrator

HR departments can clarify what’s available and guide you through the process of requesting benefits. Even if your company doesn’t currently offer eldercare support, HR may be open to exploring new options.

“Don’t assume your company doesn’t offer caregiver support just because it’s not widely advertised,” said Cole. “Some benefits, like EAPs or flexible scheduling, may already exist but aren’t promoted enough. Ask questions and dig into the details.”

What Eldercare Benefits Should I Ask For?

“Once you understand your company’s current policies, identify the specific family caregiver benefits that would make the biggest difference in your life,” Cole continued.

Here are some common eldercare benefits to consider:

Flexible Work Arrangements

Options like remote work, flexible hours, or compressed workweeks can help you manage caregiving responsibilities without sacrificing your job.

“Flexible work arrangements are key to achieving balance and maintaining productivity, especially for caregivers,” Cole added.

Paid or Unpaid Caregiving Leave

Some companies offer paid leave specifically for eldercare, while others provide unpaid leave beyond what’s required by FMLA.

Backup Care Services

Backup care programs can connect you with temporary caregivers when your usual arrangements fall through, giving you peace of mind during emergencies.

Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)

EAPs often include counseling, legal advice, and resources for finding eldercare services. If your company already offers an EAP, check to see what caregiving support is included.

Financial Assistance

Some employers provide dependent care flexible spending accounts (FSAs) or stipends to help offset the cost of eldercare services.

“Be specific about what you need,” advised Cole. “Instead of saying, ‘I need help with eldercare,’ try, ‘I’d like to request a flexible schedule so I can attend my father’s medical appointments on Tuesday mornings.’ The more concrete you are, the easier it is for your employer to accommodate you.”

How Do I Ask for Benefits at Work?

Now that you’ve done your research and identified what you need, it’s time to have the conversation. Here’s how to approach it professionally and effectively.

Choose the Right Time

“Timing matters. Avoid bringing up your request during busy periods or when your manager is dealing with major deadlines,” Cole cautioned.

Instead, schedule a one-on-one meeting and give your manager a heads-up about the topic so they can come prepared.

Be Honest and Professional

Explain your situation clearly and calmly. You don’t need to share every detail, but providing context helps your employer understand why you’re making the request:

“I wanted to discuss my current caregiving responsibilities. My mother recently had a health scare, and I need to be more involved in her care. I’d like to explore options like flexible scheduling or remote work so I can continue performing at a high level while managing these responsibilities.”

Emphasize Your Commitment

Reassure your employer that you’re committed to your job and that the support you’re requesting will help you maintain your productivity:

“I value my role here and want to ensure I can continue contributing to the team. Having access to flexible work arrangements would allow me to manage my caregiving duties without compromising my work.”

Come Prepared With Solutions

Don’t just present the problem – offer solutions. If you’re asking for a flexible schedule, propose a specific plan that shows how you’ll manage your workload:

“I’d like to work remotely on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can coordinate my mother’s appointments. I’ll ensure all my deliverables are met and remain available during core business hours.”

“Approaching the conversation with a solutions-oriented mindset shows your employer that you’ve thought this through,” said Cole. “It also makes it easier for them to say yes.”

Getting Family Caregiver Benefits

Asking for eldercare benefits at work can feel intimidating, but it’s a conversation worth having. By researching your options, preparing your request, and presenting a strong case, you can advocate for the support you need while demonstrating your commitment to your career.

Remember, you’re not alone. Millions of working caregivers face the same challenges, and by speaking up, you’re helping normalize the needs of the sandwich generation.

Want more career advice? Check out our library of resources for employees and job seekers.